Monthly Archives: August 2016

21ST CENTURY QUIRKS AND NUANCES

Today I received a call on my cell phone from myself; that is to say that the caller id indicated that I was the caller.  This was at first confusing, but then intriguing, so I dared myself to answer…myself and see what I wanted, but I chickened out.  A few minutes later, I called myself again and this time, I was not happy with myself for interrupting me!  I should know how busy I am, so this time I answered.  I guess I had nothing to say to myself because I hung up.  Then I started worrying that I would begin to call constantly and make a nuisance of myself to me, I got so worked up I had to take a Xanax, but only a .5, they just relax you a bit.  Then I wondered if I could block my own number so I couldn’t call myself anymore and even though it seemed a bit paradoxical, I decided to try it, so I blocked my own number and about 30 seconds later, the lights dimmed a bit and every toilet in zip code 33317 flushed simultaneously, resulting in an overload on the water management mechanism that uses the intra-coastal waterway as a drainage system.  The overload strained the pressure filters in the main reservoir, causing an electromagnetic surge to be emitted into the water of the main reservoir which is connected to the canal system that runs through the entire city including my back yard.  The surge was so powerful that it caused a a chemical reaction that resulted in spontaneous mass electrolysis, separating the water into oxygen and hydrogen in two gigantic bubbles at high velocity.  Gas doesn’t navigate very well so the bus-sized bubbles couldn’t turn right when the canal did and hit the retaining wall of the canal, bursting and shooting thousands of tiny hydrogen and oxygen bubbles into the air.  The hydrogen bubbles rose to the level of the power lines running along the streets and ignited upon contact, creating thousands of small ‘pop’ mini explosions.  Fortunately, they were so small they didn’t do any damage but the sound they made was identical to the mating call of Mothra (from the Godzilla movie), who showed up 3 minutes later and tried to mate with a trawling dredge towing a net to clean the canal (Mothra doesn’t see too well).  In all the excitement, the skipper of the dredge panicked and reached for his cell phone to call for help but got confused and dialed his own number by mistake and then the universe disappeared.

Only in 2016.

Laugh every once in a while, it cleans the soul’s palate and makes the world taste a little bit better.   – ctwfrank

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Wordplay 2016: The irony of irony

A pristine example of the continued dismantling of significance and meaning in the use of the English language is found in the word IRONY.  Most people don’t know what it actually means and almost everyone thinks it means something else.  Further, the word is used in the common lexicon as if what everyone thinks it means is real and correct and by virtue of being accepted as such, its warped meaning becomes true by consensus.

An example of this phenomenon can be seen in popular music, specifically one song, titled Ironic.  This is not a criticism of the song or its spectacular author and singer; in fact the song is a personal favorite.  This is an observation of a linguistic affectation manifested by the civilization dynamic, not a judgment.  The lyrics of the song give examples of ironies such as, “rain on your wedding day” and “winning the lottery, then dying the very next day”.  These are excellent lyrics as far as communicating the sentiment that the song is imbued with; one that aligns perfectly with what almost everyone thinks is irony, but it’s not.   The ironies cited in the lyrics are actually examples of bad luck or negative causality, but not irony.  So then, what does irony actually mean?  Let’s look at the dictionary:

i·ro·ny
ˈīrənē/
noun: irony+9

  1. the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
  2. a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.
  3. a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character’s words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.

 

The third definition is the one that gave birth to the word linguistically; its morphemic roots are tied to dramatic theater and form part of the literary forms that includes satire.

 

In conclusion, it turns out that irony is ironic; literally.

 

ctwfrank

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